In terms of dealing with that anxiety, there are multiple approaches, and while one method worked better for me, it may not for you. I would recommend that you don’t let anxiety hold you back from anything. Try not to care what people think. (I know it can be difficult at first, but eventually it’s something that everyone has to learn.) Don’t give in to those desires to run away from anxiety-producing stimuli, as that will only create a trend. Embrace that unease and meet it head on. You should try to systematically do things that are progressively more and more uncomfortable, to ultimately lessen that discomfort. (I know that sounds difficult, and it is, but all that’s required is that you consistently get out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to like it, but you should do it, or things may only get worse for you, since avoidance is never the answer. Things have a way of coming back at you.) There are coping methods which can help you to deal with the anxiety. Look into CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), and even if you don’t get into therapy itself, look into it’s concepts, which you can institute on a personal level. Do the research, as most information on google is free.

With your parents, blissful ignorance and dismissal is more common that you might think. They might have good intentions, but their image of you will always be biased in a favorable light (for most parents, not for abusive parents), since this allows them to also feel better about themselves, as they can know that they raised you well. You can keep trying to be honest and open, but they’ll never see your subtle hints; not unless they’ve majored in psychology. You can keep telling them that something’s not right, and that you want to go to a psychiatrist, but any possibility of that would depend on health insurance coverage, and if you don’t have a good plan, then that’s not really an option, which doesn’t matter as much as you might think, since everyone can take the necessary steps to change their own life, even without external assistance. Do as much research as you can, since the more incite you have, the better off you are. There is no instantaneous cure, and everything worth while takes time, but the sooner you move in the right direct, the better things will go for you. The only wrong thing to do is to do nothing.

I went through serious depression the majority of my life. I’m thankful that I never acted on any negative thoughts. I fantasized about it constantly, and I came close, but you eventually reach a point where either you do it or you don’t, and then you get on with your life. Accept the things that you can’t change, and change what you can for the better.